Newly Made-Up Rumors for Breath of the Wild 2!

I’ve really gotten into Breath of the Wild recently, and am already excited for the sequel. When tracking down rumors of what the new game is going to be like, it can be hard to separate the real information from supposition and outright lies. This article will make this even more difficult, by adding a bunch of self-avowed bullshit!

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Spite Christmas

Letters from a chorus girl from the play-within-a-play in Irving Berlin’s White Christmas.

In the 1954 classic White Christmas, Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye play a couple of army buddies turned Broadway producers (Bob Wallace and Phil Davis, respectively). Like many Hollywood musicals from the period, there’s a show within a show–this one is titled Playing Around, which Wallace and Davis bring up to Vermont in order to facilitate their Yuletide hijinks.

This year, when Alli and I were having our annual watch of this holiday classic, we kept thinking about how two random singer/dancers were added to the show at the last minute, and the effect this would have had on members of a professional production. This is the story of one of those chorus girls, based on Alli’s and my joking around.

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The Muppet Stephen Sondheim’s Company

For no particular reason.

PIGGY: As for moi, I have been studying martial arts. Do you want to see what I can do? Come here, sweetie.

KERMIT: Oh, I don’t think that’s necess–


(Kermit flies like a ragdoll across the set.)

KERMIT: Sheesh. I need to get out more.

PIGGY: Oh, you think vou could get out of that? Is that what you’re saying?

KERMIT: No, actually, what I said was–

(Sounds of off-screen mayhem. Pan back to Piggy and see she has tied Kermit’s limbs in a pretzel knot.)

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